Sunday, January 06, 2008

A New Day


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Last night I dreamed about the Superb Grevellia, a wild looking Australian plant I photographed recently at the UCSC Arboretum. I was commenting in the dream about how I hadn't noticed how tightly the individual parts of the flower are spiraled. And then a mighty wind blew through, the spirals released and enormous energy came out.

That was appropriate. We just had the first big winter storm in a long time here in Santa Cruz. Lots of rain, intense wind. Huge tree limbs came crashing down all over the county and the power lines came down with them. We were without power for an entire day and night a couple of days ago. I operated my computer on battery power for awhile and then had to give up on that.

I was amazed at how dependent I've become on this machine. I used to enjoy the occasional power outage because it gave me an excuse to take time off, put my feet up and relax. (That tells you something about me I might not have wanted you to know. Oh well.) This time was different--I didn't want to relax. We've been feeling held back for so long -- I talked about it in my Mars in Retrograde blog -- and now, because of the book coming out, I have lots of things to do. I inwardly fought against the reality for half the day. I REALLY wanted to get some work done here!

Had no choice, eventually, but to give up on it and got several other things I needed instead. First, all three of us--Paul and me and our good friend John--all hung out together for awhile, reading books with headlamps on around the woodstove. It was pleasant, cozy, enjoyable and it--at least temporarily--answered the need for feeling connected to community I'd been feeling for awhile.

Then the next day, yesterday, the lights came back on, I had heat in my office again and finally felt inspired to work on my perfume business again after a long hiatus. (That had been lurking in my mind for awhile but the desire to actually do anything has been gone. In terms of work I wanted to do the day before, the perfume business wasn't even on the plate.) So that was interesting. I needed a change of pace. I worked on the computer half the day and used my perfume work for the break I really needed.

The wind blew my pent-up tightly locked energy back out.

It felt good, too.

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