Saturday, March 01, 2008

Feeling Sick, No Longer Afraid

Did you know February is the peak of flu season and California, at least, has had a bit of an epidemic this year? Despite our best intentions, everyone in our household eventually succumbed to it, one after another, like a pack of dominoes. Yeah, healers get sick and, even though we can frequently heal ourselves of various ailments, for some reason when the flu hits it takes the same path with us as it does for the people around us. That might be a function of belief-- the power of consensus reality (if everyone around you is losing their head, can you keep yours?)--but for some reason I feel compelled to speak about the good that can come out of it.

As I lay flat on my back, unable to move or get anything done, I found myself in a bit of an emotional freak-out. "I can't get anything done!!!! Aaaagh!!!" Ummmm . . . what's this all about? I don't have a deadline for any of the things I do. . . or do I? What kind of "evil" thing have I been trying to ward off by working so hard in recent weeks?

9-5 doesn't exist for people on the self-employed healer path. At first you revel in that. Woo-hoo! I can sleep as late as I want! I can take a break whenever I want and no one can tell me I can't! Then reality sinks in. Oh-oh. Now I have to do all the things I would do on a regular job (if I could find one in the fields Paul and I are in) AND all the things a boss of mine would have to do. I certainly have to think about the things a boss needs to be aware of. Cash flow, balance sheets, where to find the best supplies for my Mama Love business at the best price, where to advertise our healing practice, how much can we afford to pay for it, is the advertising we paid for already working, etc., etc.

Ow! All I really want to do is DO the work Paul and I love. Why do professionals charge so much? Now you know. Some people find out the hard way that they can't charge enough.

So back to getting sick -- 2 weeks of being totally out of commission followed by a week or more of slow improvement. I had no choice (WE had no choice) but to slow down and take time away to dream and think and look at what's been going on.

Good thing, too! We dealt with some issues that had been pushed into a dark corner where I thought they should stay. Mustn't have a single negative thought in the work we're in! Hah! It doesn't work that way. You have to see things as they ARE. If you've attached a negative thought pattern to a situation, that's one thing. Yeah, you have to tease the negativity away so you can look at things objectively. But if you confuse the situation with the negative thought you've attached to it and push both things aside, then you're not looking at reality square in the face.

What scary things do you push away? Finances, your relationship, your relationship to the world we live in? Global warming, for instance? It doesn't matter what it is. If we confuse our fearful or depressing thoughts about these things with the reality of the situations themselves and, consequently, push the situations away along with the negative thoughts, we can't heal these situations in our lives. Maybe it feels like there isn't anything you can do about it. Maybe the approach you've been taking to a situation you're in isn't acceptable in some way but you've been going lockstep forward anyway because you're convinced it's the only solution. In that case your negative beliefs might be running the show but you can't tell anymore because you're not looking at it.

In February every year the groundhog comes out of its hole. If it's frightened by its shadow (and it often is) it dives back down and we have several more weeks of winter while it deals with its fears until spring. Think about it. The groundhog's shadow will be there when it comes out again. But by that time, according to our folklore, it will no longer scare the poor creature half to death. What does that say?

Don't be afraid to look at your shadow. On a spring-like sunny day--when you have the right attitude-- it has no power. But the information you need to deal powerfully with your life might very well be what you've left behind in it.

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