Monday, January 26, 2009

Pebbles -- The Importance of Holding to One's Life Purpose

“You really ought to figure out what to do with all those juniper trees. Forget about your spiritual counseling and healing practice, Mama Love, your art and photography and writing. You need to make a real living!”

If it had been said that way I would have rejected the influence out of hand. But it didn’t come that way. It never does.

After a long worried, almost panicked-sounding conversation about the awful economy, the awful things happening to “everybody,” and the awful worries this relative had about me and Paul living in the desert, the statement was made that “Isn’t it wonderful you have so many juniper trees on that property. You really ought to figure out something to do with all that.”

That’s how the message got in. Hmmm. Maybe I should.

I got people on my Botanical Perfume group to suggest ways to make Juniper Berry concoctions in alcohol and oil but before I got very far I became obsessed with the rocks and stones to be found on this land instead.

Both Paul and I did for a little while. It started when our cat Peeps followed us way out on the property again and we wanted to chase her back home so we could walk further and faster than she would let us go. Her “seek and retrieve home” intentions must have affected us because immediately after we started to chase her back we looked down and found a treasure trove of ancient Indian pottery shards amongst the pebbles at our feet.

So the obsession began. We started searching through pebbles to find pottery shards to bring home and then I, at least, became obsessed with the pebbles themselves.

“Aren’t these pretty. Maybe I could do something with that.”

Pottery, sculpture, maybe pebble mosaics. Maybe I could cover cheap thrift store finds and sell them at the flea market. Maybe there are craft fairs we could get involved in. I even drew pictures of what could be done on paper. Flower pot holders, pebble covered picture frames, mirrors, maybe candle holders, too.

It was really getting out of hand until I felt an internal imperative to go and start collecting the stones already. So I went back up the hill where we found the most variety with my extra large fanny pack and starting sorting through stones and picking out my favorite ones.

When I had a heavy full pack I realized what the internal guidance to go collecting stones was for: to get it out of my system! I spent a long time collecting these stones and still didn’t have enough for a single project. I was bored. I was done and I hadn’t even gotten started.

Then Paul and I walked home through the juniper trees and I realized I didn’t want to do anything with them either. And why would I? Don’t we have enough we really want to do? Where did this idea that I had to do something with the resources on this land even come from?

And then I remembered that earlier conversation and got mad. I dumped my pebbles on the ground -- I didn’t even want to take them home for myself anymore. They looked beautiful on the ground. I really did pick some pretty ones. But then I covered them up with desert sand and really let them go.

This isn’t MY choice. This is for somebody else. Somebody who doesn’t believe in the possibility that Paul and I could actually prosper in the work we love. In the work we’re called to do.

What’s the reality about that? We’d like to say we have this one worked out. We don’t, but one thing is for sure. Putting aside what we love in order to start something completely new makes no sense!

But there’s more to this story than that. Since getting it in my head that I really ought to do something with the resources here in this environment -- this land, the closest town-- I completely lost interest in the Flower Essence self awareness and instruction deck I had earlier been called to do. But as soon as I let go of the idea that I ought to do something else, the desire to get back to that self awareness deck came back with a roar!

The man credited with starting Flower Essence Therapy, Dr. Edward Bach, railed against people interfering with a young person’s ability to stay in touch with their own callings. All those “shoulds” and expectations and purposeful conditioning stops a person from being able to remember their life purpose. It seems wrong to follow one’s “selfish,” “foolish” or “unrealistic” personal desires and inclinations. Far better to get a real job at Walmart or Taco Bell. At least you can depend on that.

Really? That’s not what the people in our practice tell us to do. Our basic needs have always been met. We’re not getting rich (or we would have been able to stay in Santa Cruz) but.... We’ve only just arrived here, have barely gotten started letting people know who we are and what we do, but our business since getting here has been just as good as a relatively good month in Santa Cruz. That’s all been done over the internet. Once we let people know who we are in the local area...well, it’s pretty clear to me that if we keep on the course we’re on things can only improve.
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On another note, we got satellite internet access! Wa-hoo!

3 comments:

TERI REES WANG said...

Juniper I believe is part of the cypress and pine family. In China the trees are planted near graves to ward off evil spirits and bring protection and peace. Your pebbles could be other blessing placed along your path.
Healing color of Juniper is violet, and it affects the crown and base chakras. The life qualities are: vision, sacredness, humility, conviction, service, and cleansing.
Affirmation: "The violet ray flowing through Juniper supports my mind and spirit".
(Colour Scents by Suzy Chiazzari)
Put that in you personal peace pipe!
...and for your "pebbles" look up "The Book of Stones: who are they & what do they teach" by Robert Simmons & Naisha Ahshian.
Be well. Do good. All ways.

Sheryl Karas said...

Wow, that's interesting. Thanks for sharing it.

Anonymous said...

Naisha Ahshian lives in Walden and is a friend of ours...
small world.

Linda