Friday, June 28, 2013

Chloe Is Gone

Chloe died yesterday in the late afternoon after a long struggle with a fast-growing tumor on the left side of her face. In the last couple of weeks of her life the tumor shrunk back to the point of being almost imperceptible. And a few days before her death she had a brief period of being interested in life, cuddling and purring, playing in water from the bathtub faucet, even tasting food again and allowing us to feed her with a dropper.

The vet said she had never seen a tumor shrink like that or seen many cats who had lived so long with one. But I believe that has everything to do with the beliefs of the people involved and the choices in care that are made as a result. As healers we were confused and terribly distracted by her death sentence, the large size and obviously fast growing nature of the tumor, and the need to keep her in less pain all the way through. And we did exceptionally well. We gave her energy healing treatments and flower essences and Paul managed to figure out how to ration her pain meds throughout the day so she wasn't so over-medicated she couldn't function. The medical profession always seems to overdo it in that regard. She needed half the originally prescribed dose for a long time before she built up a tolerance and, rather than continuing to try to give her the medicine in the food she no longer could eat as we were instructed, we mixed it with milk or water and gave it to her by mouth with a dropper. Chloe is one of those cats who liked milk and suffered no consequence from it.

But the belief from all was that the tumor was inoperable and could not be healed. Comfort care was the only advice. And you can not heal when you're only trying to keep someone comfortable. In the end the damage from not eating and the drugs she was given to deal with the pain of the tumor were too much. But I know that with the tumor almost gone she had to have been more comfortable for awhile.

I wish I could say she died in her sleep and that is my only regret. I will never allow a pet to be euthanized again without insisting on them being sedated first IF I ever allow it again at all. Why vets don't think to do this is beyond my comprehension. It's extremely fast which is somehow thought to be merciful but I hate that my last memory of my sweet pet is her staring into my eyes with her eyes wide open with shock. I know she could have looked like that anyway at the end of her life if I didn't allow medical assistance but I dearly hope to avoid that with any pet I ever go through a protracted illness or dying process with again.


1 comment:

Patricia Wood said...

Paul and you were wonderful to Chloe and she was blessed to have you by her side. I am so sorry for your lost. Sending good thoughts your way,

Patricia