Week 2 of the Manifestation Experiments
I'm still working through my book about manifestation ( E-Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality
). I most likely should have started with the "baby steps" the book recommended for this one! LOL, I'll have to try this one again. But I thought I'd share this supposed "FAIL" because it does represent the ability to manifest, just in reverse. This happens. Because, well, some of us are just plain HUMAN, ya know?
So here's the experiment: in 48 hours, using nothing but the power of one's thoughts, magnetize something you want into your life. The idea was to focus on some simple thing that you'd like, for example, theater tickets or flowers from a significant other, and write down what happens. The theory to be explored was "whatever you focus on expands." Unfortunately, I did not choose an insignificant thing. I've been having a challenge with excessive bleeding related to menopause and I wanted it to STOP! The weird thing is that it had been starting to slow down when I made the choice to visualize an end to the bleeding (a clean menstrual pad) but within 48 hours it was way way worse.
Now I say this was not a simple choice because my worries and fears about it not stopping are so bound up with it. Not only that, there is a stress / hormone component which I am WELL aware of. Unfortunately, I didn't realize to what extent I was focussing on the very thing that has been the trigger for the bleeding. Yes, I imagined clean underwear but I also spent far too much time during the day fretting about my day job and whether I could get a better source of income to replace it by Christmas (my desired deadline) and fretting about money in general... exactly the opposite of what this experiment is all about! I forgot that the bleeding starts during the summer when my hours get cut and I start to dip into my savings to pay the rent. I knew that frustration and discouragement was a big part of the picture but I forgot.
So I focussed a bit too much on exactly the opposite of what I want to increase. And the bleeding became worse and worse.
In the middle of the night I searched for some sort of healing intent to take the place of whatever I had been doing. I sent long distance Reiki to healing whatever thought patterns might be involved in increasing the flow and fell asleep. When I woke up my first thought was "I can't afford to bleed to death! I better enjoy the time I have on this earth and pay attention to what I'm grateful for!" So I did, like an earnest prayer, start to recite to myself everything I was grateful for: my partner Paul, my fully paid for air conditioned apartment, enough money coming from student loans to be able to work fewer hours without fear, enough money in the bank, the fact that I have a day job when so many others have been having a hard time finding one, the fact that I like the people I work with, the fact that there are times I actually enjoy the work, etc., etc. The bleeding slowed down and started back up throughout the day but I also KNOW my sense of gratefulness ebbed and flowed throughout the day. As I write this I realize I stopped feeling grateful not long before I felt so tired I needed to take a nap. And then I was pissed that I needed a nap. And that was precisely the time when the bleeding increased again.
The stop bleeding experiment isn't done yet. Changing a long term habit of focussing on what's wrong instead of on the far more abundant things going right takes practice. I'm also QUITE aware people reading this blog post may think I'm nuts for boiling down a significant physical problem to emotional / mental patterns. But I have healed myself by working through and changing mental patterns numerous times before and feel inspired to continue. I will add an update to this post within the next 48 hours.