“What is this self inside us, this silent observer,
Severe and speechless critic, who can terrorize us,
And urge us on to futile activity,
And in the end, judge us still more severely,
For the errors into which his own reproaches drove us?”
-- T. S. Eliot
How many times do I believe I am being mistreated or expect to have that happen? How many times do I blame and mistreat myself? If you grew up with a constant and severe critic who has now been internalized as what you believe is "truth," I'm sure you feel the same as me: judged and judging, constantly whittling down every victory into its component parts—what went well, what could have gone better (perfect) with the tiny dark spots looming larger than the whole sky. Every opportunity for self-condemnation alternating with what we think is the solution for that: attempting to fend off criticism by expecting transgression on every corner and condemning others for every presumed slight. I actually think most of our society has slid into this state if what I read on my Facebook feed is any indication!
What is the solution to this? Well, there's more than one but I think it might help to make it a healing project. I get that reminder every time I use my Open-Hearted Loving formula. Sometimes I choose it because it is my FAVORITE perfume right now (called "Love Drunk" in my new Flower and Spirit shop). But that only serves to remind me of what it really is for.
Holly is perhaps the most noticeable flower essence in the formula for me. Holly is generally thought of as being for healing anger but it really addresses the feelings behind many sources of anger: the absence of love, love for oneself first and foremost and feeling vulnerable to attack because of it. And when the heart opens and heals, love naturally extends to others. Love is perhaps our greatest natural state and the greatest healing.
Everything else in the formula supports Holly. Chamomile allows for softening of the spirit, relaxing the mind. Rock Water helps people be less hard on themselves and stop holding themselves to such (shall I say "mean-spirited"?) rigid standards. Walnut helps protect a person from damaging outside influences. Larch helps people think positively about themselves and their influence on others and the world.
I have Open-Hearted Loving as a flower essence blend in a dropper bottle in my Etsy shop right now, will be adding it to my own Mama Love website soon!
Add in daily affirmations, counter negative self-talk, pay attention to if you are suddenly accident-prone (are you self-punishing or needing to pay attention to your mindset?), daily Reiki or other energy healing work (I infuse my Mama Love products with Reiki), meditation on lovingkindness, doing something nice for yourself that has no negatives or guilt like walks in nature or listening to music you love, a massage or even a spiritual counseling or healing session!